To trust or not to trust

I was shattered

I was shattered

Some years ago I was completely shattered by a friend’s betrayal.

Or what I then perceived to be a betrayal.

And a friend.

Of course, it was neither.

Springboard

Springboard

But back then I thought that the lady who had been playing a double game behind my back was my dear friend. Today I know that all she wanted was to use me as a springboard to reach her own goals. The worst of it was that there were many, many people involved.

When I couldn’t help her anymore, once I stopped acting as a springboard, she did everything in her hand to destroy me. I knew too much and was too loved by those around us. She tried it all: lies, inventions, manipulation, gossip, insults… Fortunately, most people knew me well by then and couldn’t be fooled by her.

That made me think

That made me think

But that sad experience made me wonder. I had long conversations with my dear husband about my openness to others and my very social and trusting nature. In his opinion, I always gave too much and risked being abused by ill-meaning people.

I thought about it deeply. And then I thought about it a bit more.

I could close the door...

I could close the door…

I came to the conclusion that it was time for me to decide and define who I wanted to be. As I understood it, I had but two choices: I could continue trusting everybody and be open to more possible disappointments or I could close the door to people, not give them a chance to hurt me, and keep safe from them. It was either trusting strangers or doubting them from the start.

What I could NOT do was continue trusting everyone I met and then be surprised but the betrayals and pain provoked by some of them.

I chose.

I chose to welcome everyone...

I chose to welcome everyone…

I chose to trust people, to not close doors before they were given a chance to be opened. But I knew that that choice involved being aware that some of the people I trusted would eventually disappoint and hurt me. I decided to trust them because the opposite was something I could not bear: rejecting everyone right away.

I’d much rather suffer some disappointments and meet some wonderful people than being safe but alone. That was my personal choice.

It’s a decision we all have to make sooner or later. What would you rather have?

Enjoy life, J.