10 tips to fight Christmas sadness

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Many people feel sad on a night like tonight. It brings back memories of unhappy family gatherings. And the pressure from their environment, telling them that they SHOULD feel happy, makes things even worse.

Many people feel sad on a night like tonight. It brings back memories of unhappy family gatherings. And the pressure from their environment, telling them that they SHOULD feel happy, makes things even worse.

Does this happen to you? Is this night a night of sadness, of disappointments, of regret? Does it make you go back in time and miss what never was?

Does tonight make you question yourself: did I do what I should have? Was I good enough?

Is it a trying time with relatives and family you would really rather not be with? Or maybe be with them but after having completely transformed them into what you dream as the “perfect” family?

Yes, tonight is a hard night for many people.

And still, it’s just a night. And it’s just a day tomorrow. And maybe nothing changes but you will survive.

And next year you will be as sad as tonight… And the following year you will dread the season again 🙁

Do you really want your life to be like this? No way! Let’s change it, then.

  1. Let’s begin by getting ready for tonight. What are you going to wear? Try and add something happy to your chosen outfit. Maybe a flower or a brooch or just a tiny touch of color. Maybe do your hair in a different style, something new. Whenever you look at it, it will remind you that you’re making a conscious effort to be happy. 🙂
  2. Put some happy music on right now. Yes, don’t wait. Play it now and let it sink in you. Do you feel like dancing to it? Do! It’s ok if you don’t want to dance, though. Just let your body tell you what it wants to do.
  3. Whatever you do, don’t spend the day at home thinking about the night. Go out. Go for a walk. Get rid of some of the pent up energy. Get some fresh air.
  4. Think of little things that would cheer you up tonight. And look for them. A smile, a hug, a gift, a special delicacy to eat. Plan them and look for them. If you want a smile, smile at others; if you want a hug, give it; if you want something nice to eat, buy it or get it. Treat and pamper yourself a bit.
  5. Before you go to dinner, think of some things that make you happy. Prepare a small list of happy thoughts or memories and use them as a kind of mantra throughout the night. Whenever you perceive sadness, bring the list up, focus on it, item after item, one at a time. It’s best if those thoughts are phrased as positive affirmations: ‘I am loved,’ ‘I am healthy,’ ‘My plan for tomorrow is…,’ Make them always positive and in the present tense. Use these thoughts and similar ones every time you feel bad tonight or tomorrow.
  6. As the night evolves, think of what you have and avoid remembering what you don’t or what you miss. Focus on your blessings. Make a conscious effort to enjoy whatever good there is out there for you tonight.
  7. If the atmosphere is tense, ask to put some happy music on. There are quite a few happy Christmas carols that could cheer people up.
  8. If you are a religious person, think about the meaning of tonight’s celebration. That in itself should cheer you up, too.  It’s a night to be happy and celebrate a unique birth.
  9. If somebody starts arguing, fighting or just talking about something sad or mean over dinner, counterattack by bringing up a happy conversation. Tell them about your plans or ask them about theirs; tell them about the last movie you saw or ask those around the table to share a joke. If the spoilers persist, don’t listen to them. Start a conversation with the person sitting next to you about something happy. Ignore those who try to make tonight a sad or negative one.
  10. And more than anything else, smile. Force yourself to smile. Smile when you’re served, smile when they talk to you, smile just to smile. Smile at yourself every time you walk in front of a mirror.

The night will be over and you will have survived one more year. But maybe this year your feelings won’t be as hurt and you might even have had a little fun.

Jessica J. Lockhart – humanology – www.jessicajlockhart.com

Jessica J. Lockhart is a humanologist, bestselling author and renowned international speaker. Follow her here:
Jessica J Lockhart, EzineArticles Basic Author